May 4, 2009

It's Done

Ok, so no turning back now... not that I want to :)

Put the paper work in today it goes before the council on wednesday, if they are happy with it I will know soon, if they are not happy with it, it will go to the meeting on the 22nd of this month. So either way I should know before we actually plan to start our journey on the 1st June.

It might all fall in very close with baby being born, Ishtar's 7th birthday, moving house and completing renovations/selling house. But that just means the start will be the hardest part :)

I am eager to take on this challenge and try my hardest to reconnect with my little girl who seems so distant from me at the moment.

She is looking forward to the journey but continues to make sure that going to 'School" is still an option for her if she doesn't like home school. I am trying to reassure her, and finding it hard to explain that it will be very different but she just need to try it before she will know whether it is right for her and right for me.

We have been having a few topsy turby moments recently and things get a bit out of hand. I think my over emotional pregnant side is not helping matters and the fact that so much is going on in our lives right now is not doing her all that well either. She is struggling to understand some things and has a tendancy to lie to us if she thinks she will not be taken seriously in her thoughts. I am struggling to get her to understand that we are here to listen and keep her feeling strong and secure and that although we do pass over some things it is not because we don't think they are important it is because other things are more important at the moment.

When ultimately Ishtar's comfort in matters and understanding of them is what should be the most important thing to us it seems to get put behind because of the stress involved in all the other things that are going on!

Argh, I have to have this talk with her again and include her father but it will just be dismissed again or she will start talking about little things that are worrying her. I need to find a way to reassure her that all those 'silly' little things are not something she needs to be concerned about. Without dismissing them as unimportant.

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