November 21, 2012

Wow, happy Blogiversary? (and 3 days)

So it seems that I started this Blog 2 years (and 3 days) ago!!

EDIT: This time frame is sooo wrong! I can't for the life of me figure out how I managed to stuff it up this badly! I blame Blogger for not showing me all the posts on the day I wrote this!

I really don't care that much about when, it is the why that is more important! and really, at the moment I am not even sure that matters!

I had plans of my blog becoming ever popular, having tutorials for sewing, recipes for cooking, continuous updates of family life on the Farm that we purchased and moved to not a year before I started it.

Now it is 2 years on coming up to our 4th Christmas in our Life Long Home, and I am realising just how much I haven't done, and not so much of what I have done!

How much life has moved on and changed and grown, and just how much I seem to be the same!

I don't like it.  I don't know what to do to change it.  Maybe I am just the way I am meant to be?

I find myself wanting to say things, but lacking the articulation to make my argument.

I struggle with the idea of getting paid work, actually I struggle with the idea of work altogether!
I got excited recently about a potential job to get me back into the work force, and sorted everything out that needed doing, full medical and drug testing, only to be turned away because I have an allergy to Codeine! I have taken it before quite a few times and have never reacted badly to it.  But a definitive scratch test has told me I am allergic and not just a little, but quite severely.

Holding faith in the universe that things are as they should be is becoming increasingly hard for me.

Figuring out what my next step is, even harder than that!  Time to sit back and concentrate on making this Christmas season (that I just don't want to happen, let alone find excitement for the sake of the children) one of the best my children have had!
And I need to start by taking charge of the absolute horror that is my house at the moment.

*sigh*

November 1, 2012

Helping Hands: Do you need help?

I really wanted to do an upbeat post to start the month off, after last month's dismal #operationMOVE effort, and the grief the family has shared.

I sat at the computer for what seemed like hours.  Had a few phone calls, one from the School to tell me Big kidlet was ill, and 2 from a friend who is having a hard time of it lately.

These calls did 2 things for me, firstly:
Stuck at home with a sick 3yo I was not in any rush to pack the 2 Kidlets up and cart them on a 40 minute round trip to pick the 3rd Kidlet up! I needed HELP... so a few unanswered phone calls and a returned call later, my Mother in Law saved the day for me, even though she was busy with her own things, she found a way to help me and my sickie Kidlets out.

Second?
My friend is in real need of help, organisation and living optimally are not on the agenda, working 12hour days to pay bills that the income doesn't cover, having fallen behind on bills so a consolidation of debts is not on the cards by anyone, and contact has been made with at least 3 financial companies, none of which can help because "You are already in the red"
Not eating or buying junk because there is no time to make anything in your 16hr day, yes up to 4 hrs traveling per day... My friend needs HELP!
I offered everything I can, and the chances are unless I show up on the doorstep randomly one evening and just do it all, my offer will slip passed un-accessed.

What is it that makes people feel as though they can't access help?  Even when it is offered freely? 
I wouldn't offer the help if I didn't want to help or if I was unable to help.

I guess at least I am a listening ear on the other end of the phone!

Would you go round and just start doing?  Do a big cook up and fill the freezer with ready meals?
Offer to help and then sit back and hope to be asked?


This month I am helping myself, #operationMOVE is on again and my aim this month has been reduced to 500minutes.  I am helping myself get healthy and motivated, feel less fatigued and depressed and get more things done in a day! 
Christmas is getting closer and it is time for me to start thinking hard on those small handmade gifts, made with love and filled with wonder!

xxx
Katie

October 25, 2012

It's Thursday...

and the blogging world (the one I seem to associate with the most) is having an "I {heart} my body" day....

Then over at Kate Says Stuff, Kate is hosting her last "Thankful Thursday"!

Quite frankly I can't bring myself to be loving of my body or Thankful for much of anything...

Well no, not really true! Although I am struggling in every way with just about everything I am meant to do at the moment.
The house is beyond messy,
The dishes are piling up,
The washing (after finally getting about 8 loads folded) is now piling up in the laundry, again!

My husband's Grandmother Passed away on Monday morning, at 94 years old, after about 10 years in a nursing home.  It is one of those things that is going to happen no matter what, and although you can be completely prepared for it and see the life coming to an end before your eyes, it still hits everyone hard.

The funeral is tomorrow, I will be going provide as much support to my hubby as I can.
I am thankful that I have the opportunity to stand by him and be a tower of support when he needs it.
I am thankful he had the chance to see his Nan a week or so before she passed.
I am thankful that his Nan had the chance to meet her Great Grand Children.

I have had 3 weeks without a home internet connection, the issue was resolved last night.

I am thankful the issue was resolved.
I am thankful to have an online community (albeit small) to miss
I am thankful for the blog, that has barely any hits or followers, it is my place to purge.

The only photo of my face that I like!

So in the case of 'body love'

I have been trying to do this operation move thing, this month it is going incredibly badly.  I have had no motivation and the only time I have done any minutes to count are the times when I have had no other choice, such as walking around the supermarket yesterday.

What I love about my body is..
 - the fact that I do not feel obliged to shave/wax and match in with other's expectation of what I should look like.  I have body hair and I am proud of it!
 - I love my stretch marks, they are a natural tattoo that show I am a mother.
 - I love my tattoo, it is a connection that means a lot to me.
 - I love my breasts, they provided life to my children.

Linking up with We Heart Life
and Kate Says Stuff (link up top)

Because shit happens and there is always something to love and be thankful for...

xx Katie

October 8, 2012

Time Flies!

The amount of times I have said here that I would try to blog more regularly, are just wildly overpowering the amount of times I have actually blogged more regularly!

Things seem to get on top of me, but at the same time I seem to be getting NOTHING done!

So as it stands, I was going to take on Blogtober this year... so much for that idea!

I committed to OperationMOVE last month, with a target of 600minutes, I am slightly disappointed to say I didn't make my target!  I got to 420minutes however which was an achievement for someone who barely leaves the house!

So for October I have challenged myself further and joined up with a new outlook and a new target of 900minutes!  I am currently at 270!  Seeing it like that makes me feel like I am on target... and I am, BUT!  What you don't see in this is that these numbers are made up of only a few days effort! I walked around Hobart for about 2 hours on Tuesday getting from our parked car to the car yard to test drive a new car, then to the bank for money and back to the car yard to pay and drive away in our new ride!



'02 Subaru Forester - New to me Car

Then Friday... or was it Thursday... heh, either way! I spent the day Cleaning house and vacuuming... I have allocated 120 minutes of 'move' time for my day of cleaning. 

Today I spent 30 minutes, possibly more, walking through the supermarket, pushing a trolley full of children and groceries.

So now I have written that out I don't seem anywhere near as committed to the exercise as previously implied! Do I?

Please check out what OperationMOVE is all about. HERE

A new challenge for myself, now that we are well into Spring and fast approaching Summer... Drinking more water! I have a 1 litre bottle (just a crappy plastic one) that I am currently aiming to drink at least 1 of per day, over the month I aim to up that to 2 litres a day minimum.
I do not drink enough and have also found my children don't drink enough, so it is time to step up, lead by example, and get drinking!

My 5yo Boy has, finally, at last, woo-fucking-hoo!, decided he no longer needs any nappies! I had argument after argument with him about night nappies and doing #2's in the toilet not the nappy... he held on until bed time or did it first thing in the morning, so as not to use the toilet. 
After falling asleep without a nappy and sharing that moment of panic in the morning because we forgot the nappy, He was DRY... and a couple of nights later he fell asleep without a nappy and we put him into bed without getting him in one... DRY again, and now he uses the toilet all the time, BY CHOICE! WOOHOO


Now to work on the 3yo!

Mr 5 and Miss 3 are also both on another round of anti-biotics, Bronchitis and tonsilitis!

What else it going on? We are getting 3-4 fresh free-range eggs per day from our hens. Unfortunately their new pen is still not complete, and we are no closer to having a single garden bed in our designated 'Garden Zone'.  There are plans for this but well best intentions...

Sometime over the next month some house repairs should start! Over the same time frame I hope to start the process of applying for employment! 

I am currently having a clearance sale on facebook,   Check out the album lots of things at reduced prices.


September 18, 2012

School Holidays!

As they always seem to the school holidays put a back burner on almost everything. 
They also seem to show me every. single. time. just how much time I don't spend with my children, ever!

I mean, I am always here with them, I am available if they need me. 
But I don't really make the time to interact with them.
I am the kind of parent who sits back and ignores them encourages their independence!
That is, I leave them to their own devices and supply them with things, as they ask for them.

Essentially, that gives them space to explore and discover who they really are, well, it is supposed too right?

So what happens when all your children do is sit in front of a screen? 
Well I sit in front of one too!

We had a weekend away at the beach(ish) last weekend.  No screens allowed.. well aside from the phones, and the TV in the shack we stayed at!

The children had no access to any thing computery... yes it is a word... at least, it is now!!!

They did however have access to a bunch of other children to play with, so that tends to help heaps in the 'Occupy Yourself' stakes! Also with the other adults around, I was able to have a break and time out from the kids, although I probably relied on others too much!

So the point of this post seems a little lost. 
Although I believe in the way I am bringing up my children, I feel like there is some connection missing and too much 'screen time' and the task of breaking the not so fabulous routine we have going is a daunting one, that I am not sure I want to take on.  Is it better to change things and go through the massive upheaval it will bring to my children?  They tend to throw small tantrums when screens are taken away!
Or do I leave them to do what they want to and spend time trying to encourage other play?  They currently like to leave the screens from time to time and do role play games, usually about the shows and/or games they have been watching/playing.  Is that enough?
I know it wasn't what I did when I was a child, but when I was a child the world was a different place!  Embracing the differences is something I feel needs to happen as well.  I wasn't raised the same way my parents were, and my children in turn will not be raised the same way I was, because every generation is different.

Do I trust that my children will self regulate their screen time? 
I believe that as the weather gets nicer they will increase their outside play and in turn decrease the screen time.

On a whole new topic, the weekend away provided much needed time away from everything.  I got quite a bit of #operationMOVE time in. (check the side bar for more info).
Problem is I am losing count of what I have recorded because I am not writing it down anywhere and forget what I have already added to my total!

So lets see if I can work it out here.. adding my totals from the weekend.
30 minutes for Saturday
45 minutes for Sunday
and Yesterday's 30 minute treadmill and 30 minute bush work..

That takes me to 300 minutes! Half way there! only a few days late!  YAY!!


And to top off all that MOVEment, there were Dolphins at the beach... I saw them a few times as they made their way up the coast line, and managed to catch the very tip of some dorsal fins in a photo, after my phone didn't want to take photo's the way I wanted and the video option wouldn't take video for longer than 4 seconds... I will share that and some more pics tomorrow!

September 4, 2012

A little bit of this and a little bit of that!

So, I know I said I would Blog yesterday, and I totally didn't!

I also said I would try and get in on the OperationMOVE action on Sunday, and I failed at that too!!

But here we are a couple of days on and if you check out my new ticker <-- over there! You will see I have done 60 minutes or my 600!!!

Yes that is correct I did 30 minutes walking yesterday and another 30 minutes walking today!! YAY Go me!!!

To check out what it is all about or to join in click on the OperationMOVE button <-- over there!


So on to the Slow Home thing I promised to write about... Head over and check out Brooke at Slow Your Home

She offers a 20 part email course packed full of ideas for organising, cleaning, storing and essentially SLOWING your home down and making everything run smoother and more efficiently...

Unfortunately for me, being up to number 10 on the list, I am yet to do number 1 and even start!

Spring is here, spring cleaning IS on the agenda, and yet other things are consistently taking priority and not much is getting done!

So next time I blog, be that tomorrow or next week I will have at least 1 story to tell about the Bootcamp, and Hopefully it will be a fabulous one that means something in my house is organised, decluttered and running effectively!


September 2, 2012

GOODBYE WINTER!!!

I have been meaning to blog for a while... other things just seem to take priority!!

So September is here! Bringing with it the Calendar start to spring! Essentially spring started a while back but it is good to have a date to look forward to and easier for those who don't watch the seasons in nature!

The first calendar day of spring this year, brings with it an 11 year wedding anniversary that was basically left uncelebrated, as chosen by both parties! It was a beautiful day and with the ability to get washing out and dry, that took priority over much of anything else we could have done! The problem then becomes the fact that we barely got half way through the washing pile!

It also begins the first month of OperationMOVE, over at Kate Says Stuff!

#OperationMOVE


and Hells if I didn't stuff up on day one and not do what i was supposed too!
So a revised take on the timetable and here we are!

I have committed to 600 minutes of excercise in September, being 30 minutes of walking on treadmill excercise 5 days per week.  Those days are going to be Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.

Lets hope the revised timetable works out and I manage those 30 minutes today!

You can join in via the link above and using #OperationMOVE on Twitter.

What else is on the list of things to blog about?

Oh yup, business stuff...

*****I GOT MY FIRST WHOLESALE ORDER*****

Which is also eating up my time and I am exhausted THRILLED!

Next post hopefully Tomorrow I will introduce you to another blogger who is kicking my butt helping me out, in the home organisation stakes!

Blessings
KT

August 22, 2012

Book Week

It is book week at school this week!
As part of the celebration for book week the school have a 'dress up' day, and parade!

The boy kidlet, chose to dress as Winnie the Pooh, and after a range of drama's, he ended up going as 'Winnie the Pooh, wearing Jeans'

As for the Big kidlet, her day is tomorrow and I am really pushing the boundaries!
I went Thrifting to try and find ANYTHING in Dark Green to make a hooded cloak out of!
I was excited to find a large adult calf length coat, made of 100% WOOL! In the perfect colour for $15! I spent the night last night (and some of today) tearing it apart at the seams, so I can recreate it into the perfect cloak. (Here's hoping)

Small kidlet is wanting to start school already and has to wait another year yet!
She is working hard at making herself heard and known, mostly in ways a lot more violent than I would like. I am trying to go gently and explain why we don't bite, kick, punch, throw things at people!
Oh My is she testing boundaries!


August 6, 2012

Unschool Monday


Although the kidlets attend the local Public School, today we are joining in with Unschool Monday over at Owlet!

Upon waking this morning to find this...



Big Kidlet decided that School was not for her, she wanted to stay home and play in the snow!
Her wish promptly granted by Dad...

They had fun playing for about 10 minutes before it was declared 'Too Cold' and they headed back inside.



All that remained was the foot prints in the Snow.

5 minutes warming in front of the fire, a hot chocolate and warm breakfast of toast and weetbix, had the younger 2 busting to go back out and the Big Kidlet convincing them it was a bad idea to get frozen again!


Head over to Owlet on the link above and join in :)

July 31, 2012

July is Birthday month...

So we have come to the end of July, and I am sooo thankful for it!

July is birthday month in my family. There are 6 parents/sisters/brothers/nieces/husbands... then there are even more extended family.

So that aside it happened to be that hubby and I both turned 30 this month!

We celebrated by throwing a Medieval fancy dress "60th" party, in the midst of 3 weeks worth of family sicknesses! Sensible? Maybe not! A Hell lot of FUN? Definitely.

So in the week leading up to said party, when I should have had all the costumes made and ready I found myself at spotlight buying all the material needed, so I could make 4 costumes in a week! And, hell's yes, I made it...

The Hubby and I in the matching costumes I made! (not the corset or his under clothes!)


Small girl in her Dragon Get up... courtesy of yours truly AGAIN!


Big girl in her Sorcerous dress... made by.. You guessed it Moi!


And the boy, being a knight, costume supplied by the cheapo store.. he did wear a cape that I made him for a while also!


So blog with pictures as promised!

July 4, 2012

Of sun and choice?

The Winter Solstice was a time of contemplation for me and has seen me make a few steps toward major life changes, nothing to drastic to be down for now, but a gentle process of acceptance for things to come and letting go of the ways of old.

I have been sinking into depressive 'episodes' and having gentle and discreet panic attacks more and more often in the last few months and nothing is helping me get a handle on it.

The release of tension and stress involved in commitments I had made has helped. The acceptance of changes that I didn't want to make have done more good than stressing about the changes I wanted to resist, but really knew I wouldn't be able to for much longer.

Tax time here brings with it new financial challenges and concerns of where the money needs to go and what we should do versus what we want to do and finding the balance in all that lies ahead. It most certainly isn't easy.

New ideas, old ideas, ideas that you just know are not going to be applicable to your life, no matter how much you want them to be.

At almost 30, I can only hope that at some point in the next 20 years I will have made some progress toward leaving something behind for my children rather than leaving something behind that will only take away from what they are trying to achieve when the time comes.

It is hard to contemplate leaving things behind for anyone! Death is an unknown, the when, how, where of it all is just the beginning!
There is the what happens after, and not just for me, for my children.

Will I get to see the next generation grow?
Call me whatever you might but I just can't accept the fact that it all just ends, regardless of body state. I just can't even fathom the idea that we just disappear and never know what our children and grand children got up too.. or for that matter any of the family any of us leave behind.

Maybe we get to a point where it really doesn't matter to us what happens to everyone else?

Wow, this post went an entirely different direction than I originally planned it!

It was supposed to be up beat, about our growing light and the ever present sunshine my area of the world has been receiving through the depths of winter when it should be dark, cold and wet.

Oh well things change, weather included!

Next post promises to be more interesting with photo's, fun and laughter!

winter solitude

Into the depths of winter here, in terms of the cold at any rate! With the solstice passing us by last month and a small ritual to commit to leaving some attributes behind with the darkness and some new ones coming forth into the ever increasing light.

The business has taken a new course, I am stalling the changes a little because I am unsure as to how I want to step forward.

I have been looking into starting a 'real job' it is a while off. Hinging on a lot of outside factors, but there is a place I want to work, for stability, locality and monetary reasons! I am focusing my energies heavily on that pathway and I will not sway from that in my intentions but rather add to it.

So my little business will become more of a hobby, the intention being to share what I can do with the world around me and beyond.
I will create when I feel the pull towards creation and I will pull back from that as the need arises.

I have plans to start new projects and new lines of 'stock'!
I am in no rush to produce any of those, I will accept that when the time is right the opportunity will present itself to me.

I travel my web of life as it's string passes by many others sometimes connecting and other times traveling the same direction but never meeting. I trust that the things I need will forever be in my reach and at the right time the strings will connect.

May the circle of life keep turning.

Half way there!

Well we are half way through the year!
In order to better understand what is going on I will split this post into 3 one for each kidlet.

Big Kidlet, in year 4 this year, seems to be enjoying her year, we have had a few bad days but she is mostly enjoying her time, although seems to get irritated with the amount of time she spends taking her brother to his class room in the mornings!
She had her 10th birthday last month, and is developing into a young woman at a seemingly magical rate! She is still a hard child to accommodate for, being very set in her ways and not giving an inch without making it out as the worst thing in the world!
She is still very much into technology and doesn't want much to do with anything out of doors, hopefully this summer will turn her around.

Boy Kidlet has taken to school and new found freedoms in leaps and bounds. He knows what he wants out of the experience and for now that is working to his advantage. He recently had his hair cut! He has had long hair pulled back all year, put up with teasing and reminded people continuously that they were silly because "boys can have long hair and I am a boy"! He went to school on 'Crazy Day' dressed as a girl, because he thought it was a brilliant idea to throw people off, and when pressed for ideas on what girls wear, announced that girls wear "Trousers and t-shirts and jumpers"! He went to school with a dress ups fairy dress over his regular clothes, pleased as punch! So his hair is now short, as per his request "as long as my little finger" He loves his new do! He looks much taller and more grown up, and it is still a shock to see his whole face without hair in front of it, even after 1.5 weeks.

Small Kidlet, I can't call her baby anymore! Turning 3 last month, she is a delight most of the time but is a very stubborn child with her own ideas on what and how everything should be done! It is amazing to watch her come into herself, challenging to let her test her boundaries over and over again, day after day! I struggle and then there are moments of quite contemplation where I know I wouldn't want it any other way. Teaching a 3 year old that she can't draw on a piano that someone else has drawn letters on before her is just a flaw. How is she supposed to tell the difference between a letter on a key and her own colourful scribblings?


So the circle turns... ever creeping closer to the moment every parent both longs for and dreads.... When children no longer need them.. we all hope our children will then choose to want us instead!

May 30, 2012

Pretend

It seems to me that a lot of people pretend to be someone they are not, and that they do so because people are not willing to accept who they actually are as a legitimate or meaningful thing.
A lot of the time I struggle to decide who I will be today. I find myself dreading going to certain places and seeing certain people. A lot of the time those people are the people closest to me, my family. My sister's, mother, father, in Laws...
Every where I turn everyone I have available to me for support all have limitations. Or if they don't, I feel as though they do!
I am a parent, I understand the implications of choosing to be a parent, and I understand the implications of choosing to be a parent who just needs some time out. I am a, let face this, pretty crap parent. I rarely do things with my children, I don't organise out of school activities, I rarely leave the house. Because of this my children follow my lead and they don't want to do things that require them to leave the house, even just to go outside and play... if it involves turning off the tv or computer they do not want to know.
And in true Bad parenting fashion, most of the time I just can't be bothered with the screaming match and arguement I need to have with them.
So I struggle with the thought that I am seen as the bad parent, hell if I see that in myself I am sure others see it.
I rely on my husband to do a lot of things and will not organise things for him to be involved with, without his input and this seems something that no one around me can accept. So I struggle with not being a 'good' wife.
I don't do housework, well I do, but not much, obviously not enough because my house is constantly in the shambles and the moods that evolve from that, escalate and make the whole thing worse. I am not a 'good' cleaner.
I struggle with time management, and inspiration, and when relying on those things to run a business it is just not good enough. I am not a 'good' business person.
My beliefs are unlike most people around me, I struggle to show people who I am because it is consistantly ridiculed by the people that are supposed to support me no matter what. When I show my children photo's or their births (crowning and placenta's) I am ridiculed because it is disgusting. I see it as beauty.
When I talk about the items I make and the properties they imbue, I am laughed at. Really most people ask me a question regarding what a dream pillow does, then as I explain they tune out and sometime start another conversation before I am finished.
Really if you are not interested don't waste my time in asking.
I enjoy who I am, for the most part. I don't enjoy who I pretend to be so that people will accept me.

My business has given me an outlet into a world of people I feel I can be myself with, I am not a good business person, I am not a good writer, I am not a good public speaker, in fact just walking in public and being seen makes me anxious. I don't enjoy buying things in person because it means I need to interact with people I don't know, face to face.
This coming month represents so much that is challenging for me, but also allows me the opportunity to shine in the element of belief that I hold so close.
The winter solstice is not far away. I will be taking my business to the local Body and Soul Festival, where I will invite people to share with me in banishing the old and embracing the new. I will have ritual tools set up and paper and pens for people to add the items they wish to banish and embrace to the ritual that I will perform on my home ground come the day and night of the solstice.
It is time to embrace what I am and not turn my back on it!

These songs are two that resonate with me at the moment.








and these ones are inspired by the winter solstice and may just find their way into my ritual night.



May 16, 2012

Of Things Past.. (or passed?)

Perhaps both?

Past, as in, things that have happened before now, and also passed, as in, time that has passed me by! Yes?, No?, what do you think?

The circle keeps turning and my blogging has still not become the regular habitual thing that I had intended when I began blogging! Life just seems too in the way? Well no not really, I just seem too, I don't want to say depressed, but that is part of it, maybe more... oh fuck it, I can't tell you, I am not a dictionary by any means!
But something is up and I just don't WANT to do, well, anything! But then I want to do things, lots of things, I just can't be bothered!

I had a good day yesterday, I did 4 loads of washing (not even half of it) and spent little time on the computer (compared to what I normally do!) I read some... more on that later! I was feeling pretty good about, well, everything really!

Now today I am back to where I was before! The circle keeps turning!

So I will turn it back in my head a few weeks, and start back there shall I?

After I get myself another cup of tea...

Ok, change that to Hot Chocolate and the left over quiche from dinner last night, because at 12.30pm I still have not eaten today! Took me 2 seconds to decide that I needed the whole thing heated before attempting to eat it and a minute to nuke it until it was less than hot, but not cold!

Time winding.... Except how far back do I go, and how much rambled crap really needs to go on the blog? Seriously?

Ok so, Mother's Day, and the new book I am reading!
I have been a mother for almost 10 years! I have loved and loathed it at different moments, mostly the former, but certainly a little of the latter. I am not by any means a great mother, I really am not sure I am even a good mother, I mean I give my kids what they need and make sure they are healthy, I would say happy but with a 9yo going on 16... she is never happy! There is always something to whine about and if there isn't she will create something! Chances are that I will be the cause of it! That is what mothers are for, right?
So come Mother's Day, a day just like any other, except, I chose to let everything slip aside and let her into the kitchen, with some of her father's help to make me eggs on toast for breakfast, she did 90% of it on her own, without hurting herself and it was pretty tasty. Followed by a visit to the In Laws, and then a child free trip to watch Hubby play hockey. Then back to the in laws for dinner and to collect the children, where my day promptly turned to shit... but you know that is ok too.
My 9yo was busy helping in the kitchen to make the mothers day dinner, and with school the next day it was clear at 8pm with still no dinner it would be a late night. We sat down to dinner at 8.30 and it was about 9.30 when we left.
The kids where very tired but amazing the next morning getting up for school and being ready on time for the bus.

As a mother I need to offer my older child more opportunities to be her own person and take responsibility of more things, I need to trust that she is a capable person and can do it.

And to the presents I received, my darling boy made a lavender bag and a card at school, the big girl did a card on the computer at school also, then hubby went shopping and bought me the book I have longer for since I first knew about it... The Bloggess's (I am not sure that is grammatically correct, and I don't care either!) "Let's Pretend This Never happened" I am thrilled to bits with it and secretly wish I was able to tell a story as well as Jenny! Although fucked up in ways most unbelievable, there is a certain magnificent charm to her, her book and her humour that is quite often a LOL factor in my day!

Then we come to the business factors of life! I have an online market in less than 2 weeks, a huge 2 days festival in 1 month from TODAY! and I am in desperate need of creating and developing and producing enough stock for both! OMG, when you combine that with my absolute ability to be able to sit here and do almost NOTHING all day, most days and allow it all to compile and chip at my head space continuously getting closer and closer and no less work... I am slightly falling apart at the prospect of having it done and ignoring that it needs to be done in an attempt to hold it together which is totally working on the outside, but NOT AT ALL on the inside and I am still getting nothing done! Yay WAY. TO. GO. ME!!!

I have almost 50 crystal pendants to stitch, 27 crystal kits to make up, labels and uses to print out for them all after that. I have candle kits to put together and info sheets to go with those, I have dream pillow designs to draw and then sew and fill with wool and sew again!
I have note book cover to design and make, I have wall hangings that I need to create and on top of all that, a house with a mouse plague that I am failing to clean day in and week out... come the end of June I think it will be time to turn my attentions to what I have to manage outside of the business and get on top of that in time for the Medieval themed Fancy Dress Party we are throwing for our 30th birthdays in July... and I really need to type up a paper invite for that because I have more people to invite than just those on facebook!

April 5, 2012

Change

I have been finding it hard to blog of late.. well at all really! Things I want to write I don't because of what other people will think or feel. I read other blogs and really just wish that I could be like that and write like that and put it all out there. There is so much to say and so much to do, so much to find and use and create. Today is a crap day! I feel deflated and depleted and I just want it to be tomorrow already, but not because things need to be done before tomorrow, that I just can't be bothered doing. Hubby has been doing ALL of the washing for the last 2 weeks or so because I have been creating and crafting for gifts in any moment that I am not spending playing games and lurking on facebook. I want to sit in the corner in a ball and just have time stop for 2 hours while I do nothing in silence, I don't want my children in the other room, the fighting and screaming and constant battle over computer and playstation are doing my head in... It was a gorgeous day today, I am in my pj's having gone nowhere and done, well nothing. My children are also still in pj's and have done nothing more than I have, they have not been outside at all today. If I take away any thing with a power connection they lose the plot completely, and I end up with children melting down which doesn't help anyone really! Fear of being ridiculed over the contents of a blog that I own, doesn't show that I OWN ME... I am an adult, my own opinions and observations do not weigh on anyone but me... It is time to step up and out, no longer will I decide what to write based on what others may or may not feel about it.

March 1, 2012

The things we do...

Well blogging from the phone seems like a good idea, until you realise there isnt really much you want to say most of the time...

So tonight I am blogging on my phone from my bed (in my pajamas) the other half plays hockey on Thursday nights and as it happened the stuffed the roster this week so his game was at 8 not 7 which means he has been gone since 8 this morning and won't return until at least 10.

So in spectacular single mum style I got all the children fed changed at in bed by designated sleep time in our house (8.30pm).  Normally after that I would love to have a cuppa and just chill for a bit, but in bed doesn't mean asleep for the toddler, so to keep her in bed until she drifts into dream land, I lay in my bed next to hers, until she sleeps... which for the most part leaves me chilled enough for sleep too.

Although laying awake and then having rather vivid dreams has been keeping me in a less than restful sleep state for a few weeks now!

About that energy shift everyone is keen to talk about?

February 28, 2012

From my phone...

Decided to move up in the world and added a Blogger app to my phone. Que random blogging, at bizarre times, with really bad auto correct features from time to time.

Today randomness is just the ability to be blogging at the dining table, juggling the toddler who will not sit still AT ALL.  Ahh parenthood how I love thee...

February 23, 2012

Check out my new venture..

and join in the fun :)

Go HERE

Developing Ideas - Monthly Trift Challenge

So I have this idea... It would be great if people would join me! (Australia only at this stage)

What I want to do is have a monthly craft challenge.
Each month I (or someone) will pick a topic, as an example I will choose the topic of "Easter" for march.

So you are challenged to make something for your Easter table, as a gift etc etc,
but it must be themed around Easter, so depending on your religious background (or foreground) this could be anything from symbols of new life to christian themed or just all about the rabbit and chocolate! You get the idea, it is your interpretation.

The catch is that for $10, you receive through the post, a kit that I (or someone) sends you, packed with all the goodies you are allowed to use to create your masterpiece.

All of these goodies, are to be sourced at a second hand store. Or if there is something specific that can't be sourced that way (such as crystals or thick card), as long as the person organising has had a good go at sourcing these things second hand, I am happy for things to be purchased new. Based on postage costs everyone will receive about $4 worth of thrift product to create something wonderful.

You can add notions to the products in the form of, wire, thread, glue, paint and pens etc. If you are not sure if you can use it then ask :)

You have until the end of the month to complete the challenge, and post a picture or link to the Blog or my Facebook page.

At the end of this time we can either arrange an anonymous swap of the creations or keep your own, or an auction off for a predetermined charity?

So the question is who would like to join me?

Please circulate this post to all the crafty people you know, it is a way to try your hand at something new and challenge us to think outside the box.


March will be $10 for the theme EASTER. I would ideally like to have the kits made up to post by March 5th so they have time to arrive and a few weeks to make.

So I would say cut off to sign up will be March 1st.

You can sign up by commenting here, in the Facebook album here or via email to mindtomat@gmail.com, with your email so I can send you payment details.

Payment via paypal (gift please) or direct deposit.

Well because I have been meaning to for AGES, and this idea makes it extra special to get it out there... Flogging my Blog over at the wonderful world of Glowless today <3

FYBF

January 24, 2012

Just another post.

I was just thinking it must have been ages since I posted on the blog! And well it has been 2 whole months!!

4 weeks of that time I have spent hardly any time on the computer, my hubby has had 4 weeks off work and started back yesterday!

So an update, since the last post a lot of things have happened, and also it feels like not much has, you know what it is like!

Those eggs under the broody turned out to all be bad, not 1 chicken to be hatched alive. We sorted them out and decided to give up for a little while because it is just too much and we run out of eating eggs when the chooks are sitting! Then 2 hens went broody, we gave them a couple of weeks without eggs to see how long it lasted and finally gave in. We sent one to the In Laws to sit on a dozen of her eggs and put 6 or so under the other, a week and a bit ago she hatched 4 fluffy little chicks, that are all still healthy and going strong :)
Then the chicken who was on the lot of eggs that didn't make it went broody, so as of a few days back we have a hen sitting on 12 eggs!

So christmas was an event, got some cool things! Kids had a great time! New Year not so much an event, kids all went to bed about 10pm and hubby and I sat up watching TV shows until 12.30 then went to bed, a mere glace at the clock at 12.05 saw a small 'happy new year' from each of us!

Next on the list of things, we had planned to head camping at the beach for my mother's birthday the weekend of the 8th Jan. 2 days before we planned to leave Big Kidlet tripped over the dog and broke her left Tibia. Luckily there was no surgery required but seriously going camping at all, let alone to the beach with lots of sand, with a plaster up to your high thigh is not something that any one wants to do. Not to mention the pain she was in for the first 3-4 days.

So no camping for us! A week after that I had a catering gig for my mum's basket making group. 3 days of cooking for 10 people watching them craft, chatting and then getting in on the action myself with the "Challenge Box Swap"

That brings us to the weekend just past, I headed to a Goddess Workshop on Saturday which was a wonderful afternoon of learning, friendship and love.
The Goddess of the moment was Aphrodite representing Complete Unconditional Love, and for us moving to find ways of "Living the Goddess" ways we can move in our own lives to honour our selves and the Goddess.

Words of wisdom from the day "I am not beautiful like you, I am beautiful like ME!!"

Recognising the beauty in everyone and everything is something most people seem to have lost, but recognising the beauty in ourselves is something that is, not lost but, seen as an undesirable quality.

What a wonderful workshop, ways we brainstormed to celebrate the goddess in you without feeling the guilt we would normally associate with it:

Finish Reading that book, or several, you have sitting in the corner.
Take walks on the beach
Cook a nice meal, just for you!
Gardening

Anything you have wanted to do but have put off because you can not 'justify' the time spent away from whatever else you are doing. Commit to a time in the next month for you to just do that one thing (or 3 x 30minutes) that you have put aside because of what someone else may think or feel. The house work will be there tomorrow.